Everyone likes a wedding. The union of a man with a woman is truly a blessed occasion and unites two families into one. It is one of those events that everyone remembers for years to come.
Many who are involved in the wedding party find that putting the blessed event together can really be a whole lot of work. This is especially true on the bride’s side, where the vast majority of how the wedding will look and feel is put together by her family, her bridesmaids, maid of honor, and even a wedding planner that they may hire. It is a lot more work for them to be sure.
For the groom’s side of the family, there is really not a lot of work to do; this is true of the best man and the other groomsman as well. Outside of a bachelor party, choosing tuxedos, and keeping the groom was getting cold feet, there is simply not that much that is required of the groomsmen.
The Major Responsibility for the Best Man
While there is not a whole lot for the best man to do, he does have one major responsibility that can have a long lasting effect on the memories of the wedding. During the reception the best man is required to give a speech, the Best Man’s Speech. This is a very important role for many reasons.
First off, often times the best man is kind of the Master of Ceremonies. While some couples opt to get an MC, there are many that let the best man do the job. This is especially true if this person is someone that really has a lot of charisma and knows how to make people feel at home.
While being a guy who gets along well with people is a good quality to have, this is a lot different than making a speech that is supposed to be a heartfelt moment that celebrates the matrimony of your dear friend or brother and his new wife. This is a time where you really want to make a big impression by saying something that will leave a memorable moment for the couple, and so you do not want to do anything that can leave a bad impression.
The Common Mistakes that Many Make
Before talking about putting together a great speech, there are some things that need to be told to you to avoid doing. These are the kinds of things that can turn a crowd against you quickly and so it makes sense to talk about these things first so that you can really get a good speech put together.
Failure to Plan – a lot of mistakes people make is that they know that they are quite witty, so they decide to just wing it. This may work out well at the bachelor party or when you are at someone’s retirement party, but you need to consider that there will be people here of all age groups. What may be funny to your buddies or your co-workers, may not seem especially funny to the grandmother of the bride or may be inappropriate for the groom’s little niece.
These kinds of inappropriate or even crude comments are most likely to come out of your mouth when you are shooting from the hip. You will just let your natural personality takeover, which would be great 99 percent of the time, but this is too divers of a crowd to be taking any chances. You need to take some notes and write a speech before you deliver it. Practice with some other people to make sure that the humor and your comments are acceptable.
Desire to Be a Hit – there are many people who approach this speech as their coming out party. They think that they have to have the most memorable things to say so they overdo it. Their speech is way longer than anyone else’s. They look for the very funniest things to say. They try for the most profound wisdom. They want to do everything so much better than everyone else.
It is great to have comments and thoughts that are insightful. It will be terrific if you have funny jokes or insightful wisdom. These are great things to shoot for. However, if you are trying to do too much it will show and it will most likely blow up in your face.
The person who is usually the least funny is the one who is trying the hardest to be so. This usually never works out as you would like, so just do your best to be you. If you are funny then be that, but don’t push to be super sentimental then. If you are a guy who is not afraid to tear up and show his emotions, then go ahead and do that, but don’t try to cover it with coarse jokes and inappropriate comments. Let your true nature show.
Don’t Hog the Spotlight – a very common mistake that many make is that they forget that the wedding is not about them. They want to be the center of all the action when the bride and groom are the true showcase of the event.
Many best men who are acting as the M.C. try to talk more than everyone else, having a comment after every other person’s speech. This is not your time to be the star. Let others feel important as well. This is absolutely critical.
My Comments Are OK as Long as MOST People Think They Are Funny – wow, what a huge mistake this is. Many think that if they are entertaining most of the crowd with their words, then they are perfectly acceptable. That may work in Las Vegas, but not at a wedding reception.
Consider the impact or a joke that is taken badly by the bride’s grandmother or the groom’s aunt. They are never going to hear the end of it, which means that you will never hear the end of it. These are things that may a joyous occasion a very tense one, and everyone that follows you is going to be on pins and needles the rest of the reception.
This is one of those moments to remember that it is not about you, so even if the groom and bride will think it is funny, if you have a good idea that others will be offended then don’t use it. Your rule of thumb is if you think there is reasons to be concerned then don’t use it.
Writing Your Groom or Best Man Speech
Now that you know the things to avoid in putting together good best man wedding speeches, it is time to talk about the things that you want to include. So here are some tips to get you started on how to write a best man speech.
Keep It Short – understand that there are lots of people who will want to say things, so you want to make sure that you give a short groom speech. This is not an indication that you don’t have great things to say. It is just courtesy to give others a chance to get their two cents in as well. Consider that if you are at a wedding that has hundreds of people at the reception, a lot of those people are going to want to say something. The reception cannot go on for nine or 10 hours, so make sure that you keep your speech short.
A good rule of thumb is short best man speeches are the very best. If you are wondering how long should a best man speech be the answer is no more than four or five minutes. Too much more and you are making the event too much about you.
Also remember what was mentioned before. You want to write out your speech and have it prepared so that you do not ramble on. Be prepared and your speech will be so much better. Your friend or brother deserves the very best from you, so don’t try to just put it together at the last moment.
Share a Personal Experience –the best man speech ideas come from ones that come from the heart and those are most often the ones that share a personal story about your relationship to the groom. These should be something that really fits in with the theme that he has found the right woman and now his life will be much better than even you could have imagined for him.
If you are the brother of the groom, then you should have a whole lot of stories about how he was when he was younger. This can mean that your story will not only be an account of you could not imagine how he would wind up with such an amazing woman, but could be one on how you are surprised he found any woman at all.
The brother of the groom is one person who can make his stories a whole lot more sarcastic, because the special relationship between brothers makes it so that virtually everyone there will be expecting you to bust the chops of your sibling. It is what brothers do.
Remember when telling this accounts that personal stories that may cause friction between you and your brother or you and bride should be avoided at all costs. Consider that the story of when you are the groom were caught making out with two girls in the one girl’s basement, and how her father threatened to kill you may be funny to you now, but that is not a story the bride will likely enjoy, and you can be sure that none of her family will see it as humorous.
The purpose of your story is to lead into how amazing it is that he has found the perfect woman for himself, and this can be done without scarring him for life. Make sure your story is appropriate and that no one will be afraid to show their face after the ceremony.
This is true if you are the best man for a good friend as well. You want to make sure that your stories are appropriate and not overtly embarrassing or too risqué for those who are in attendance. Keep in mind that the level of joke will not range as far to the inappropriate side if you are not a brother.
A good test of any story you would tell is to ask a few people that you trust before making a choice of story to tell. If those people are thinking that you are walking the line of danger then maybe you should change the story immediately. You simply do not want to take a risk, especially on such an important day as this.
Humor Does Not Need to Be the Focus – while a humorous best man speech is one that a lot of people like to hear, consider that you are not here to host some kind of celebrity roast. Humor does not have be the primary focus of your speech, especially if you are a person who is not very funny anyway.
You want your personal story with the groom to be something that really shows how happy you are for your friend. This should really be the focus of what you are talking about. To be honest, if you are looking for something that will make you stand out, don’t go for the funny speech, but instead focus on something that is really touching and a tear jerker. That way you can really make an impression that will leave people talking about your toast for years.
This is especially true if you are delivering the brother’s best man speech. If you are the brother of the groom and are sharing a personal experience about how you have always looked up to your older brother and seeing the beautiful woman he is marrying only makes you wish you were more like him every day will leave everyone in tears. If he is younger, to talk about how he has always looked up to you, but seeing what an amazing choice he has made in his wife has made you want to be more like him, that will leave everyone really touched, and his wife will adore you forever.
Practice, Practice, Practice – did we mention practice? This may seem like we are being over the top, but the truth is that the more confident you are in your speech the more easily it will flow when you are giving it. This will help you to feel more confident, and will stop you from talking too fast or not annunciating well.
Practicing it will do a whole lot for you. If you want to deliver some very humorous lines, it pays to work on the timing of them. Practicing will help you to make sure that the things you say are really delivered well. It will also make sure that you remove out a lot of the crutch words that people use, like “uh” “um” and “ok.” This will really enhance your speech a great deal.
When you are practicing, make sure that you do so in front of some other people. This will not only help you to feel more confident when you are delivering the speech at the reception, but those people can give you some good criticism that can tell you about how to improve the speech. Listen to that feedback. That does not mean that you need to embrace it all, but you should take what you hear to heart and use it if it makes sense to do. Don’t let anyone make you completely rewrite your speech, but there is nothing wrong with making some adjustments if it is suggested to you.
Do Something Unusual with the Speech – if you have been to a few receptions before, it is likely that the speeches were all pretty much the same. It was like they followed the same best man speech templates or something. This is what people do. They copy what they see others do and just use it over and over again. This removes most of the fun of the speech to say the least.
If you have a special talent that is different than simply delivering a speech. This may be the time to pull it out. That can mean you can do something different, like delivering a poem instead of a pure speech. You could make it rhyme and add some humor to it. That will make it fun, and you can be sure that everyone will find some humor in that. It will definitely make you stand out for sure.
You don’t really need to deliver a speech at all. You could sing! If you have a great voice and would like to sing to the bride and groom, that would be totally awesome. You could even write your own composition. That will leave a really amazing memory and will capture the attention of everyone who is there. Give the idea a shot and you will find that it really has a good chance of going over really big.
This is just a couple of examples of different kinds of things you could do. If you are an actor you could act out a scene you hope for their marriage or act out their first date. Miming it would be hilarious and sentimental all at the same time. Be odd and enamoring at the same time.
Stay Sober – ah, the big mistake that lots of best men and groomsmen make. They have gone out and found great speech tips, followed a perfect speech structure to put their speech together, and have practiced it until they could barely talk anymore. They have created a great best man speech, but they make one tragic mistake. They had way too much to drink before it was time to deliver the talk. Can you say tragedy?
This is a mistake that best men have been making for centuries. They want to get into the day and so they start celebrating far too much. This makes them slur their words; get off the speech, and ad lib a lot more. Many men have made really inappropriate comments to the bride when inebriated, and a few have even inappropriately touched them. Talk about never being invited to their anniversary, you will be lucky if you don’t go home with a broken jaw.
There will be plenty of time to celebrate later on. Keep your eye on the ball and make sure that you really deliver a great speech by keeping your faculties. You will be glad you did.
Getting Your Speech Together
You have been given a lot of information now, and you can go out and find the best man speech examples online so that you can see what some others have said and done. In fact, it is encouraged that you look at ideas that other have done. You don’t need to take their ideas, but look at 10 or 12 examples of what others have done. Try to find some varying types of speeches so you get lots of ideas. You want to be as good as you can, and taking as many examples as you can find will really help you to make the best possible speech you can.
As part of looking, take a gander at some of the best man toast examples you can find. At the end of your talk you will want to toast the new couple, and so it pays to see what some have said. Again, you do not have to use what they did, but it should give you some examples of what you want to do. This will really help in saying something inspiring that will be what you want to express to your friend and his beautiful bride.
If you have done all of these things, you can be sure that you will have an awesome and good speech that will leave everyone enamored with how well you have toasted the couple. Keep in mind that it is about them, but this does not mean that you cannot garner a little attention for how beautiful you presented your friend or brother and his bride. A good speech will really do that for you.
This is your time to have a little fun and so go out and look at free best man speeches plus use hilarious stories that you have with the groom to make the ideal speech. The combination of these two things will help you to make sure that you put together a fun speech and that it goes over really well.
Congratulations on being chosen as the best man. Now go out and write a speech that is worthy of being given this honor and you will make your friend or bride really happy. Keep in mind, that if you really touch the bride’s heart, she will be even happier, and the wedding night will be one to remember for your friend. He will thank you for your words later.