Seeing your son finally getting ready to tie the knot is a really exciting time. This is a big moment in your family and you want to enjoy it to the fullest. This is the hope and dream of every parent that they would see one day when their child found the perfect match, and that relationship blossomed into a marriage. It is an event beyond words to say the least.
Of course, when the announcement of the blessed day is given, there is all of a sudden a lot of things to do. While the groom’s family does not have as much work as the bride’s, there are still some things that need to get done. There is getting the rings, tuxedos for your son and his groomsmen, and yourself for that matter. There is setting up the rehearsal dinner, and a few other odds and ends that can make for a large array of activities heading up to the wedding.
The Big Responsibility for the Father of the Groom
A lot of the stuff that will go on, that is the responsibility of the family of the groom will likely fall onto his mother. She will want to be as involved as she can be as she prepares for her little boy to go off into the world and get married, and so the father of the groom doesn’t have a lot that he needs to get done.
There is one big responsibility that is entirely up to him. That is delivering the Father of the Groom speech at the reception.
It is during the dinner that the master of ceremonies will call upon a wide variety of people to make speeches. This will include best man, the maid of honor, and the father of the bride. It will also mean that the father of the groom will get his chance to speak before any others at the reception would like to make their own comments.
This may not seem like a big deal, but it will be to your son and to your new daughter in law. They want to hear where you are at with this wedding, and this is your chance to share your thoughts so that you can not only share your blessings on the newly married couple, but also share how happy you are that your son found the perfect person for him. This is your moment that officially blesses this marriage.
It is because of this that you need to start taking this a little more seriously if you had not already. A lot of dads don’t really put the effort into this that they should have and so they get up and have their foot in their mouth in no time at all. That is not what you want there is no doubt so it prepares to prepare.
Some Key Things to Consider Before Putting Your Speech Together
Before writing your speech, there are a few tips you will want to get into your head. This will help you to lay the foundation and get started on your speech.
The first thing to consider is that you are not just writing this speech for yourself. The truth is that this is your thoughts and that of your wife, as you are speaking for her as well. This means that it is a good idea to consult your wife before writing your speech.
You want to spend some time finding out what she would like to have included in the speech. Let her know that the speech can only be so long, which means that she can only add a few thoughts to the talk, that is if they are different from what you are going to say.
It is a good idea, in fact, that the two of you sit down and talk to one another about what you both want to be said when you toast the happy couple. This could actually save you a considerable amount of time if you did it this way. You may find that she has some amazing thoughts, which it is very likely that she does, and this will help you to formulate what should be in the speech. That should save you a considerable amount of time for sure.
If she does not have a lot of great thoughts, or if they are similar to yours, at least you will know what she has mentioned and you can start to work to get that put together. This way you cover what is important to both of you.
Look at Examples – a great thing to do is to search on the web for father of the groom speech examples. There are lots of places you can search to find them. The benefit of this is that it gives you some focus by seeing examples of what others have written. You will be amazed at how well this will help you to put together a direction for yourself.
It should be mentioned that there is nothing that says that you need to follow these examples. These are merely suggestions. Go with what you think sounds good to you. You simply are getting some insights and ideas from other fathers.
Also, don’t copy someone else’s speech. As good as someone else’s may be, you need to find your own voice. The truth is that it will be a lot more meaningful to you personally if you are writing your own speech and not copying someone else’s.
If you don’t fancy yourself much of a speech writer, then this can also be really helpful in putting your own speech together. There are great father of the groom speech templates to use, where you can get the bare bones of the speech, and then you simply fill in the details and stories you wish to add. This can be very helpful.
Keep It Short – as you prepare to write your speech, keep in mind that this should be no more than four or five minutes at most. There will be lots of people who want to speak there, and if you are hogging up all the time there will be a whole lot of people who will be upset, not the least of which may be your son and your new daughter in law.
There will be lots of people who will want to add comments, and if every toast went 10 minutes the reception may be going into their first anniversary. Make sure your comments are to the point.
Outline – a good way to include your wife’s comments and to make sure you keep it to a reasonable time is to put all your thoughts down in an outline. This gives you a very clear direction in writing your speech, and can really help to not only keep you focused, but also help you to ensure that you do not miss anything you really feel is important to say.
If you are like most people, there have been plenty of times where you had to speak in front of others, and when you were done, you were kicking yourself because you wanted to mention something that you forgot while you were speaking. You may have even thought about saying it before your time to talk, but you were talking off the cuff and totally forgot about it. It happens quite a bit.
This is how using an outline before you write your speech can really work in your favor. You can make sure that you do not miss anything when writing your speech and really be able to get in the things you want to say. You will find that no matter what father of groom speech samples you review, there will be a clear flow to their speech, and this comes from a proper outline.
Also, remember that an outline can help you from forgetting what your wife wanted you to add. The last thing you want is for your son to be starting his life of matrimonial bliss, while your own wife is quite irritated with you. Include her in the outline to make sure that you get all the things you and her want to say included.
The Speech Itself
Now that you have some tips in mind to get started with, it is time to write your speech. With your outline in hand, this will not be as difficult as you may think. If you have not completed the outline because you do not know exactly what you want to say, no worries. Here are a few directions to get you started.
Introduction – it is a good idea to introduce yourself and your wife at the very start of your speech. While the wedding party will know you, that does not mean everyone at the reception will, and so it pays to start this way.
This introduction should include a thank you to the bride’s parents for helping to put the event together as well as beginning congratulations to your son and his new wife.
The Opening – a lot of people start with a humorous line about marriage or a funny story about their son and how they never thought he would be tying the matrimonial knot one day. This can be a great start if you are careful about what you use.
Your joke should not be something that is too risqué. This is a wedding after all, and not some celebrity roast, so doing your best Chris Rock impression is out of line.
You also do not want your story about your son to be too embarrassing. There is some acceptable part that the father will jab at his son somewhat. Everyone will understand that you are going to get in a good punchline on him, but telling how you were sure no woman would ever want to marry him when he was 14 and still wetting the bed is beyond reproach. This is a happy day for your son. Keep it that way.
An Important Story – apart from the humorous one, you want to spend a little time talking about a time in your son’s life that has led to this point. While it doesn’t need to be life threatening, you can share something personal about how this has really touched your heart.
Just as an example, there may be a time when your son was doing really poorly in Little League. He may have been striking out and making errors a lot and the other kids may have been brutal to him. It may have been one of the saddest times in your life, as a father, because you hate to see your son struggle.
You can talk about how you always want your son to succeed and how this event made you wish that someone was always there to help pick him up, as you had, when he is down. Now he has that special someone. You will have great confidence that no matter what goes on in life, he will always have the safe arms to fall into to make sure that he will be ok.
A Wish to the Newlyweds – you want to make sure you include the best wishes that you and your wife have for the couple. Hopefully, you and your wife have an amazing marriage, and so wishing them the same marriage bliss that you have would be a great point to make.
A lot of father of the groom speeches include a story of struggle from their own marriage. You can talk about how you grew together as a couple because of that struggle, or how an event made you two closer than ever.
The point of this is not to talk about yourselves, but to share a great hope with the wedding couple. Keep them the focus!
Practice – lastly, practice the speech. Sit down with some people and share let them listen to your talk. Your wife should be included in this as well, so she can help you to make sure that it is really the best you can make it.