So your son is about to get married. This must be a very exciting time for you. There is nothing that is more enjoyable for a mother and knowing that her child has found the absolute most ideal person for him or herself. It really is a joy.
Sadly, the mother of the groom doesn’t get as much involvement in the planning of the wedding as the bride’s mother does. It’s just part of the tradition in how the wedding is put together. You probably would like to have a greater stake in what is going on, but this just isn’t your role when it is your son that is getting married.
Despite this, you can still have a dramatic impact on the wedding for sure. You have the opportunity to share your thoughts and make a sensational mother of the groom speech that should really leave a big impact not only on your son and future daughter-in-law but on everyone in the room.
There Is No Way a Speech Can Make that Big of a Deal
Before you start telling yourself that a speech really doesn’t make that much difference, consider for a moment the great men of history. Take John F. Kennedy for a moment. Ask yourself what it is about him that you remember the most. The chances are that of all the things that he did during his lifetime the one thing that you will remember above all the rest is him saying, “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.”
Thomas Paine is another example. It is probably likely that most people would not even know that name at all if it were not for his famous Revolutionary War battle cry, “Give me liberty, or give me death!”
You see, people remember the words of others. They become immortalized, not only in textbooks, but also in their own minds.
Now, no one is saying that your mother of the groom speech is going to be something that’s going to be catalogued and remembered throughout time. You can go out and take a look at thousands of mother of the groom speech samples and it is probably fairly likely that very few of them will be something that would be so sensational that you would remember it forever.
However, that does not mean you can’t say something that really sticks in the memory of the new couple and gives them a lifelong memory of how special you thought this moment was for them. This is your chance to tell your son how incredibly happy you are for him, as well as welcome your beautiful new daughter-in-law, all while doing it in front of a room of people that will likely remember the things you say for many years to come.
Where to Start with Your Speech?
Ok, now that you understand that this isn’t just some tedious tradition that has no real meaning, it is time to start taking your speech much more seriously. Sadly, most men who will be speaking at this event will not take the writing of their speech very seriously. They will probably speak off-the-cuff and it may come across well, but there were literally hundreds of thousands of examples, where these kinds of speeches turn into failure or even disaster.
If you have gone and looked at some of the mother of the groom speech examples you have probably seen that these are well prepared speeches that really embraced the love and pageantry of the moment. That is what made them so special. It was clear that these were very well thought out, heartfelt talks that made the mother come off looking like the fantastic woman that she is. This is what you should want for yourself.
Make an Outline
If you really want this talk to come off well then being prepared is where it begins. There are probably very few, if any of the good speeches that you read where it seemed that the comments that were being made were not well reasoned out. This is because those mothers spent time, probably months in advance of the wedding, putting together their thoughts so that they made the best possible impact that they could.
Before going on, it is important to note that no one is saying that your speech is intended for you to steal the show. This is not about you being more important than the newlyweds or you creating some kind of personal stage for yourself. Instead, this is about sharing some very personal moments with your son and his new bride.
Sadly, many times people appear at events like this with great ideas of what they would like to say. They would really like to share their thoughts on how special this moment is and how happy they are for the couple, however, they begin to talk and forget about some of the key points that they wanted to make. Before they know it, they are rambling on and missed the key things that would have really let their son and their new daughter-in-law know how happy they truly were for them. This is the kind of thing that happens tens of thousands of times a year.
It doesn’t have to happen to you however. Making an outline of what you want to say can really take away any of the jitters or worries that you may have, and ensures that you get across the things that you want to say in a way that really expresses how you feel. This is your opportunity to really express your love for your son and his bride. An outline will help you to stay organized.
What Is It You Want to Say?
While an outline is a good suggestion, what it really helps you to do is figure out what you really want to say. What is it that you want to tell your son about how happy you are for him? How do you want to express your love and welcoming to your new daughter-in-law? These are the kinds of things that you want to ask yourself when you’re preparing your speech.
There are several areas that you can include in your speech. A lot of mothers decide to go with a funny mother of the groom speech. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Sharing an amusing story from your son’s life can be a real grabber at wedding reception and it can lead into your amazing love and excitement for your son.
Every mother has a crazy story about her son. If we are all honest, men can be quite goofy, especially when they are younger, and there are many stories that a mother can tell. Just make sure that the story is light in the humor that is presented. You don’t want to be presenting a story that is going to be embarrassing to your son and something that people will tease him about for years. It might be funny to you that the first time that he kissed a girl he had an accident in his pants, but that may not be a story that 300 people need to hear about him. Be considerate about your son’s feelings so that you don’t leave the wedding with him being angry or irritated with you.
While you’re building your outline you should always try to include something about how amazing you think his choices of bride. Again, let’s be honest for a moment. You may not like your son’s choice at all, and there are many mothers who clearly don’t. However, this is your opportunity to rise above any resentment or anger you may have about her, and really set this marriage off on the right foot. Again, this wedding is not about you. It is time for you to start embracing the choice of your son to ensure for greater success.
This can be done by making sure that you present some very thoughtful and loving words to his new bride. No matter what you may think of her, there are always good qualities in everyone. If you find that you are having some challenges trying to figure out the good things you want to say about her then consult some others. Find someone that knows her well and ask for some good thoughts that you would like to present.
Going back to one of the original premises of this article, this is your moment to shine before a large group of people. The last thing you want is to come across as some kind of bitter shrew. That is the thing that people will clearly remember for many years to come, and that is not the image you most likely want to leave of yourself. Find something nice to say and you will be much better off for doing so.
Another great thing that this will do for you, that is building an outline and figuring out what you want to say, is that it will help you to ensure that your speech does not run long. There are two things to consider here. First of all, many people will probably have kind words they would like to express to the bride and groom. This means that every person who talks needs to limit the length of their comments, including you! If you find that your speech runs more than four or five minutes, it’s time to contract some.
Secondly, you want to keep in mind the phrase that says that less is more. In many instances, being brief about what you want to say has the most dramatic impact on people. If you can keep your comments to just a few minutes you will find that they will dramatically affect your son and daughter-in-law in a way that will leave them blessed to have you as their mother.
As one final note, make sure that before you go and give your speech that you practice it quite a bit. This is very important. Not only will it help you to be more comfortable with your speech when you deliver it but, if you do it in front of others, it will give you a gauge of how well your speech is coming across. Practice it, practice it, practice it! Just as an athlete practices diligently before a contest you should do the same with your speech.
If you have taken the simple suggestions your speech should come across well. Congratulations to you and your husband and it is the hope that your son’s wedding is everything you envisioned.